Progressive Reports Now

Amber Milgram interviews Matt Yglesias of ThinkProgress.org

2010-07-30T20:12:00.000-07:00

NOTE: PRN apologizes to its viewers for a technical difficulty in producing the video footage for this interview. For the time being, PRN will provide the script. Video footage will be made available as soon as the production crew finish their work, which was interrupted by Mr Yglesias's medical emergency.FN

Amber Milgram

Matt Yglesias

Amber Milgram: Good evening. I'm Amber Milgram with Progressive Reports Now, and I'm here with high-profile blogger and pundit, Matt Yglesias of Think Progress dot org. Matt, welcome.

Matt Yglesias: Thank you Amber. Do you have any cookies? Cupcakes? Fritos? Pretzels? Ranch dressing?

AM: No, I'm sorry Matt. Haven't you eaten today?

MY: I had 4 meals already, and I just finished dinner 15 minutes ago. But I'm still hungry. I'm so hungry I could eat an elephant. Get it? Hah hah hah. Eat an elephant.

AM: I suppose I do understand what you mean. We'll try to keep this interview brief, so that you can go get your fifth meal of the day as soon as possible.

MY: Thanks. Do you have any cocaine? Or heroin? How about some Everclear? Or some sherry? Maybe a bottle of port?

AM: I'm afraid not, Matt. That's also going to have to wait until we finish the interview. So why don't we get started?

MY: Perfect. But hang on a second. Do you have any marshmallows? How about a Snickers bar? Maybe some lump sugar for your coffee? Or perhaps a squeeze bottle of honey?

AM: Not right here I don't, Matt. Let's move on to the interview. Recently you wrote a blog entry where you sang the praises of continuing to ramp up the war effort in Afghanistan. It seems to have stirred up some heated emotions. Many of your critics are focusing on your citation to Paul Krugman.

MY: Petty jealousy. You went to Harvard, didn't you?

AM: As a matter of fact, yes I did.

MY: So you know what I'm talking about. Everyone is jealous of Harvard. Everyone. And I mean everyone. By the way, do you have any baloney? How about some donuts? Maybe a tin of vienna sausages? Or a jar of molasses. I'm starving here.

AM: I'm sorry, Matt, but this is an office, not a food court. If we can stick to the interview, you will be able to go find some food shortly. So let's get back to your blog entry. You cited Paul Krugman as supporting your position that increasing the war effort in Afghanistan will be good for the American economy.

MY: That's right, Amber. Krugman agrees with me. He always agrees with me. It's like we think with the same brain or something. Say, do you have any hot dogs? How about a frozen pizza? I could really use a corn dog right now, with a tub of ranch dressing for dipping.

AM: Not only did you cite Paul Krugman, but you also suggested that John Maynard Keynes would support your position on increasing the war effort in Afghanistan.

MY: Of course he would. He would know, if he was alive today, that I am one of his finest students. After all, I went to Harvard, and I have read at least 5 essays written by Paul Krugman.

AM: Yet that doesn't explain why Keynes would endorse your position on Afghanistan.

MY: Look, Amber, it's simple really. We need to grow the American economy. We already have a war effort ongoing in Afghanistan. The war effort produces income for a significant portion of Americans. Therefore increasing the war effort will increase the income those Americans receive. And I could really use a hot fudge sundae right now, followed by a banana split and 3 ice cream sandwiches. Can we call someone and have something delivered?

AM: Matt, I'm sure you are aware that Progressive Reports Now supports the noble Democrats. And I'm sure you can understand that means we support President Obama and whatever he chooses to do in Afghanistan.

MY: Absolutely. Is there a McDonald's nearby? How about a Wendy's?

AM: What I'm really interested in, Matt, is your economic analysis. If we increase the war spending in Afghanistan, how will that benefit Americans living in Cedar Rapids, Iowa?

MY: As Paul Krugman said, Keynesian economics supports my position. Holy cannoli, what does a guy have to do to get a stack of pancakes around here? I'd like them with whipped cream and walnuts, fresh Vermont maple syrup, and two sticks of butter. And a carafe of hot coffee please. Can I use your phone?

AM: How about people living in Nashville, Tennessee? How will they benefit from increased war spending in Afghanistan?

MY: Obviously the spending will trickle down to them. Jesus christ, I need some mashed potatoes and chicken fried steak, and I need them now.

AM: So basically, you are saying that if we spend more money on military efforts, it will be good for all Americans? And what about the problem of blowback from Afghanistan?

MY: Listen, the only blowback from Afghanistan I'm concerned with is the opium poppy. I could use a fix right now, I'm getting jumpy. Where's your chocolate stash? How about a bag of gummi bears? Or some Cheetos? Dammit I'm starving here!

AM: I just found a packet of Nutra-Sweet in my desk drawer.

MY: Jesus christ, give me that now!

AM: Matt, take it easy, I'll hand it across to you...(pause)... Matt... wait.

MY: I'll rip those skinny arms right out of your torso if you don't give me that packet right now. Holy crap, I never thought this interview would be such a pain in my ass. Why don't you people have any food around here? What's wrong with you? Is this some kind of prison? Or a concentration camp? Are you trying to starve your guests?

AM: For Progressive Reports Now, I'm Amber Milgram, wishing you a good evening.

MY: I tell you, this has been torture. Krugman would have been fed, I guarantee you!

______________________________

FN - While we respect the confidentiality of our guests' health concerns, we find it imperative to disclose that in the course of Mr Yglesias's medical emergency, the video transcription equipment was destroyed, and the only recording we have available presently is the audio loop that is routinely recorded for any conversations in Ms Milgram's office. Our technicians are trying to recover the video data feed, but there is a chance that it has been lost forever. In order to prevent a re-occurrence, PRN will be investing in military-grade video recording equipment that can survive a bunker-buster explosive attack. We will also ensure that henceforth, an extraordinary supply of various foodstuffs will be made available to all interview guests before, during and after the interview is being recorded. PRN treasures its readers' loyal support, and deeply regrets the possible loss of the Yglesias interview footage. Again, we are ensuring that this does not happen again.

Amber Milgram interviews Boy Genius, Mark Zuckerberg of facebook

2010-04-23T11:05:00.000-07:00

Original here.

Arrogance - Prince

En garde! Je suis Mark Zuckerberg, un chevalier du lucre!

Amber interviews Glenn Greenwald

2010-04-07T22:21:00.000-07:00

Amber Milgram recently obtained an exclusive interview of the brilliant legal scholar, author and blogger Glenn Greenwald.

Original here.

VICTORY IS OURS!

2010-03-24T08:09:00.000-07:00

My dear fellow Progressives,

CONGRATULATIONS TO US! We have won a HISTORIC VICTORY over the Evil Rethuglicans!

Without your support, PRN never could have moved this bill from dream to law. And rest assured, PRN was instrumental in its passage and enrollment. Here's how we've engineered this fantastic and monumental achievement:

1) We made you hate the Evil Rethuglicans as much as we do. We did this because hating the Evil Rethuglicans is essential to working within the system we have. We don't have an ideal system where the Congress is 535 Progressives, 0 Evil Rethuglicans. As long as there is at least one Evil Rethuglican in the Congress, it's all-out warfare! And remember what Donald Rumsfeld said -- you don't go to war with the army you wish you had. Think about that one, fellow Progressive. We have to work with the hand we're dealt in this Political Poker Pugilism! So, what better source for gamesmanship than one of the leaders of the Evil Rethuglicans? Our strategy comes right from Sauron's Eye!

2) Working within the system we have, we have given all discretionary power to the very corporations who have made health care unaffordable in many cases, and totally foreclosed (hint: pre-X) in others. By giving them the power to dismiss Americans from health care, we make it clear who is the real enemy: THE EVIL RETHUGLICANS.

3) Working within the system we have, we ensure that the corporations responsible for the dire state of health care are guaranteed an annuity of double their present profits, for at least another decade. Giving them so much profit will ensure that they become more humane toward everyone who now can't afford health care, or who now is denied health care (hint: pre-X).

4) We have invoked Teddy Kennedy's dying wish -- that he could pass historic reforms in the field of health care before departing this mortal coil. Teddy, we did this FOR YOU, you Lion!

5) Finally, we know that we've done the right thing here. Why? Dennis Kucinich is on board! Noam Chomsky is on board! Silencing the radicals is what we do best at PRN.

Thank us for getting Kucinich and Chomsky on board by donating what you can today. Please mail your TAX-DEDUCTIBLE contribution to:

Progressive Reports Now
ATTN: Amber Milgram, Editor in Chief
PO Box 65713471
Washington, DC 20202-6969

Remember -- we accept check, money order, and most major credit cards. To pay by credit card, call our receptionist Tony Spumoni at (202) 936-1212. Tony will help you with a smile on his face and a precious kitty at his feet.

Solidarnosc!

Yours very truly,

Amber Milgram
Editor in Chief

Help save Health Care!

2010-03-15T12:37:00.000-07:00

Dear Fellow Progressives,

Our Movement is in danger. Evil Rethuglicans are trying to derail the most historic piece of civil rights legislation since the Civil Rights Act of 1965.

I'm talking about Health Care Reform, of course.

The Evil Rethuglicans are saying that the Noble Democrat Congress are trying to implement socialism. To this fallacious assertion, I reply:

NONSENSE!

The Noble Democrats are selfless, merit-promoting capitalists, first and foremost! The Noble Democrats would never try to socialize medical care. It would deflate a significant portion of the American Economy, causing even more people to lack health care.

Medical Doctors would stop practicing medicine if they weren't guaranteed 6-figure incomes. Then where would we be?

Progressive Reports Now needs your help in fighting the Evil Rethuglicans.

If you know someone who is criticizing the Noble Democrats, report that person to Homeland Security because (s)he is a traitor!

If you have money to donate, send it to us, and help us fight the Evil Rethuglicans! Please mail your TAX-DEDUCTIBLE contribution to:

Progressive Reports Now
ATTN: Amber Milgram, Editor in Chief
PO Box 65713471
Washington, DC 20202-6969

We accept check, money order, and most major credit cards. To pay by credit card, call our receptionist Tony Spumoni at (202) 936-1212. Tony will help you with a smile on his face and a precious kitty at his feet.

Solidarnosc!

Yours very truly,

Amber Milgram
Editor in Chief

Amber and Randall discuss health care reform

2010-03-14T13:25:00.000-07:00

PRN Editor in Chief Amber Milgram discusses health care reform with PRN General Counsel Randall Lysander.

Original here.

Holly Ballou is PRN's Employee of the Year for 2009

2010-03-02T18:26:00.000-08:00

I'm pleased to announce that our 2009 Employee of the Year is Holly Ballou, our Junior Researcher. I'd like to share some of Holly's wisdom. After reading the quote below I'm sure you'll be eager to join us in congratulating Holly for her thorough research and timely insights, which were exemplary during 2009. Without Holly we wouldn't be in our current position as the leading voice of American progressives.

Amber Milgram, PRN Editor in Chief

I think progressives have earned the right to run the show for a while. We've put up with a lot from Bush and the Evil Rethuglicans. When I'm out in public and I sense that someone near me is an Evil Rethuglican, I try to make things inconvenient for them. I'll drive really slow if they're behind me, or tailgate them if they're in front of me. I'll pull out my cell phone and have a loud conversation with one of my girlfriends about sex or my monthly flow. It's really fun to irritate those Evil Rethuglicans.

Holly Ballou, PRN Junior Researcher

Surrey talks to the janitor

2010-02-25T09:25:00.000-08:00

original here.

PRN hires new Director of Research

2010-02-24T11:13:00.000-08:00

After a grueling, hair-splitting analysis of all the fine candidates who applied for our Director of Research position, we are pleased and honored to announce that Suresh Prabhupada has been awarded the position. Suresh topped a list of extremely well-qualified candidates with impeccably merit-stuffed resumes and CVs. His biographical narrative:

Suresh Prabhupada - Director of Research. Surrey is a 2003 graduate of Oxford University, Jesus College, where he studied under John N. Gray. In 2006, buoyed by Hope and Change We Can Believe In, Surrey moved across the Atlantic to Chicago, Illinois, where he proceeded to establish himself as a progressive blogger with a lot of great things to say. In 2008, Amber Milgram discovered Surrey blogging a progressive, pro-Israel message at the leading progressive blog, icecatpond. Prabhupada formerly ran his own blog called America Needs Progress Today.

Here's a link to Surrey's debut at PRN, when he was interviewed by me for his 5 Predictions for 2010 in American Politics:

Surrey's Top 5 Picks for 2010.

Congratulations, Surrey. And welcome to PRN!

--A. Milgram

PRN gets the lowdown on Afghanistan

2010-02-23T10:07:00.000-08:00

Amber Milgram interviews Stanley McChrystal

Original here.

A reminder on careers with PRN

2010-01-31T09:05:00.001-08:00

Remember, readers: PRN has several position openings. Two are career positions, and two are unpaid internships. Simply look at the right margin of this blog for more information.

PRN posting addresses are valid only for applications. Readers with questions about the positions are encouraged to post them as comments here.

Competition is especially fierce for the Director of Research position, and former guest Suresh Prabhupada is a leading candidate. Study Suresh's impressive wisdom if you wish to compete with him for this position.

--A. Milgram

A word from our sponsors...

2010-01-30T19:41:00.000-08:00

The real Obama strategy.

Amber interviews Naomi Klein

2010-01-30T14:09:00.000-08:00

Amber Milgram interviews provocative writer Naomi Klein.

Original here.

Amber talks to Mr Lysander about the recent SCOTUS opinion

2010-01-21T19:04:00.000-08:00

Amber talks to PRN counsel Randall Lysander about the recent Supreme Court opinion in Citizens United v Federal Election Commission.

Original here.

Amber interviews Mr Wickham of The Two-Fingered Roger

2010-01-18T09:35:00.000-08:00

Amber Milgram intervews Tanglefoot Wickham IV, Editor in Chief of the UK's progressive publication called The Two-Fingered Roger.

Original here.

Mr Lysander talks to Mr Oxtrot

2010-01-17T09:01:00.000-08:00

PRN Counsel, Randall Lysander, talks to Mr Oxtrot about the Erik Prince interview and the psychology of the workplace.

Original here.

Amber interviews Erik Prince

2010-01-15T20:42:00.000-08:00

Amber Milgram talks to Erik Prince about the surprise massive contract recently awarded to Blackwater-Xe for disaster relief work in Haiti.

Original here.

Amber Milgram talks to Mr Oxtrot about civil liberties

2010-01-14T20:34:00.000-08:00

Mr Oxtrot wants to know what Amber thinks about Cass Sunstein suggesting that Americans spy on each other in order to find 9/11 conspiracy theorists.

Original here.

Holly Ballou's Words of Wisdom for January 2010

2010-01-13T18:21:00.000-08:00

I think the absolute bestest way ever, and I mean infinity here, to change the system is to work within it, patiently, accepting false claims as real change, for centuries... while people make money off your labor. That's the peach of the bushel right there

Holly Ballou, PRN Junior Researcher

Holly interviews an internship prospect

2010-01-11T19:09:00.000-08:00

PRN's Holly Ballou interviews prospective intern Butchette O'Grady in Wichita, KS.

original here

Chapter 2: PRN beefs up its connections to Homeland Security

2010-01-06T11:18:00.000-08:00

The laptop bomber/underwear bomber story presented PRN with a great opportunity to bolster its support for the Department of Homeland Security. Felicia Foxworthy worked her connections to get DHS Director Michael Chertoff to agree to drop by for a brief interview.

Chapter 1: Amber's first big interview

2010-01-02T11:24:00.000-08:00

After a couple of years as Editor in Chief, Amber got the word from Felicia that she would be given a substantial one-on-one live interview opportunity. Amber spent a fair amount of time considering what progressive voice she wanted to interview. She thought about personality and how presentable the guest would need to be. She didn't want to be over-shadowed, she wanted to be in control of the whole interview.

Amber chose Suresh Prabhupada, a graduate of Oxford who had recently been found blogging a progressive, pro-Israel message at the leading progressive blog, icecatpond. As it turned out, Prabhupada had his own little-read blog called America Needs Progress Today.

Several days later, Randall was in Felicia's office and the interview came up:

Later that day, Felicia called Amber into her office to tell her some good news about the interview:

Meanwhile, in an undisclosed location, Suresh Prabhupada meets his benefactor:

The story so far...

2010-01-02T10:08:00.000-08:00

Progressive Reports Now is a leading opinion journal for the "progressive" segment of America, modeled after The New Republic. Its staff include the following persons:

Felicia Foxworthy - Publisher and CEO. Ms Foxworthy graduated first in her class in 1982 from the University of Chicago with a degree in public policy and planning. From 1982 through 1989, she worked as a community organizer for Pfizer Pharmaceuticals, helping poor and underprivileged Chicagoans find MDs who could prescribe anti-anxiety medications made by Pfizer. From there she went to the Chicago Board of Trade, where she served as governmental liaison until November 2000. The election of George W. Bush caused her to question her CBT position's durability, and thanks to a crafty headhunter she took a job with Porsupuesta Brothers Consulting, based in Washington DC. Porsupuesta Bros works with federal politicians on the Democrat side of the aisle, helping them craft public images that generate more voter support. While at Porsupuesta Bros, Ms Foxworthy attended a summer seminar at Harvard University. Ms Foxworthy quickly was identified as a top talent for Porsupuesta Bros, who decided to expand their work into journalism. Progressive Reports Now is a publication of the Porsupuesta Bros Publishing dynasty. (Dirty secret: tells everyone she "graduated from Harvard" even though she only attended a summer seminar.)

Amber Milgram - Editor in Chief. Ms Milgram went to The Kos Daily School (where she was valedictorian) and Harvard University, where she studied under many top professors in the Kennedy School of Government. She was awarded her Harvard MBA degree summa cum laude in 2004, after which she worked as Legislative Director for US Senator Albert Caidagh (D-NE). In 2007, she was recruited by Felicia Foxworthy to serve as Editor in Chief of PRN. Ms Milgram proudly acknowledges her profound respect for her role model, Medea Benjamin of Code Pink. (Dirty secret: wants to be President.)

Randall Lysander - Counsel. Mr Lysander, a native of Great Britain, is an experienced attorney and solicitor who has experience as in-house counsel to various businesses and entities on both sides of the Atlantic. Reticent and cautious, Lysander has a natural talent for keeping people and businesses out of legal trouble. He is not a political creature, however. He works for PRN because he has a crush on Felicia Foxworthy, and because the pay is extremely generous in view of the work demanded. (Dirty secret: would work at PRN for free, just to be around Felicia.)

Holly Ballou - Junior Researcher. Ms Ballou grew up idolizing the great activists of her generation -- Madonna, Bono, and Bruce Springsteen. At age 14 she decided to devote her life to progressive causes, thanks to Madonna's activist hit single "Papa Don't Preach." Ms Ballou absolutely despises the Evil Rethuglicans and working for PRN is her dream job. (Dirty secret: chose progressive identity to piss off her father.)

Galen Greenwood - Marketing and Promotion. Mr Greenwood is a former litigation attorney who found himself more interested in using his advocacy skills toward audiences larger than a judge or panel of jurors. A regular Renaissance Man with big dreams and a bold vision, Greenwood knows how to tell people what they want to hear, and thereby unite them as a cohesive hive mind in support of various progressive causes. A graduate of law school, Mr Greenwood knows the finest restaurants in DC and --as one might expect with a true Renaissance Man-- can tell you where amyl nitrate is easiest to find for the best prices. (Dirty secret: wants to be John Yoo.)

Jayne Hamster - Events Planning. Ms Hamster went to Sweetbriar College where she majored in sorority boosting and membership pledge driving. She is a natural at getting people together for such things as pledge drives, charity marathons, and water cooler gossip. She lives in the Hollyhobby section of Old Town Laurel, in a hip loft in a converted warehouse, with her cats Fabio, Enrique and Butch, and her Jack Russell Terriers RFK and JFK. (Dirty secret: in love with Bill Clinton.)