Progressive Reports Now: April 2010

Amber Milgram recently obtained an exclusive interview of the brilliant legal scholar, author and blogger Glenn Greenwald.

Original here.

Holly Ballou's Words of Wisdom

The most important battle Progressives face right now is uniting to support President Obama's choice of Elena Kagan to fill John Paul Stevens' slot on the Supreme Court. If we do not support Kagan, the Evil Rethuglicans will destroy her chances of success, and then they will require appointment of an Evil Rethuglican person who will overturn Roe v Wade and author an opinion that makes gay marriage illegal.

The most important issues facing Americans right now are preserving a woman's right to abortions, and solidifying the rights of gays and lesbians to marry. Nothing else matters.

Current Openings - Career Positions

21st Century Media Specialist -- The incumbent should be familiar with all electronic media being used at any point presently or in the future. Expertise in blogging, Twitter posts, Facebook page maintenance, MySpace page maintenance, text messages for cell phones/PDAs/etc is a must. Graduation in the top 0.001% of one's college class is a must. Please submit 20ml of your blood, your SAT/ACT score(s), your GRE score(s), your MCAT score(s), your LSAT score(s), the age at which you lost your virginity and with whom, the routing number(s) and account number(s) of your bank account(s), a lock of your hair, 4 trimmed fingernails and a crusty old scab to Progressive Reports Now, Attn: 21CMSPOS, PO Box 025.421.6331, Washington DC 99999.

Current Openings - Unpaid Internships

Peer Trends Analyst - The incumbent should be well-connected socially in his/her age group. We are looking for prospects in each of the following demographic groups:

18 - 27.5 yrs old lesbians in Wichita KS

32.5 - 43 yrs old angry, disabled Democrat-voting Iraq War Veterans in Chattanooga TN

Please contact Holly Ballou at holly.ballou@progrepnow.org with a detailed factual description of yourself, your frequency of orgasm, the number of times you have attempted suicide, the number of angry letters you have written to editors, and the frequency with which you blame Rethugs for the problems in your life.

Progressive Reports Now

Friday, April 23, 2010

Amber Milgram interviews Boy Genius, Mark Zuckerberg of facebook

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Amber interviews Glenn Greenwald

Holly Ballou's Words of Wisdom

2009 PRN Employee of the Year

Holly preaches it 24/7/365

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