The story so far...

Progressive Reports Now is a leading opinion journal for the "progressive" segment of America, modeled after The New Republic. Its staff include the following persons:

Felicia Foxworthy - Publisher and CEO. Ms Foxworthy graduated first in her class in 1982 from the University of Chicago with a degree in public policy and planning. From 1982 through 1989, she worked as a community organizer for Pfizer Pharmaceuticals, helping poor and underprivileged Chicagoans find MDs who could prescribe anti-anxiety medications made by Pfizer. From there she went to the Chicago Board of Trade, where she served as governmental liaison until November 2000. The election of George W. Bush caused her to question her CBT position's durability, and thanks to a crafty headhunter she took a job with Porsupuesta Brothers Consulting, based in Washington DC. Porsupuesta Bros works with federal politicians on the Democrat side of the aisle, helping them craft public images that generate more voter support. While at Porsupuesta Bros, Ms Foxworthy attended a summer seminar at Harvard University. Ms Foxworthy quickly was identified as a top talent for Porsupuesta Bros, who decided to expand their work into journalism. Progressive Reports Now is a publication of the Porsupuesta Bros Publishing dynasty. (Dirty secret: tells everyone she "graduated from Harvard" even though she only attended a summer seminar.)

Amber Milgram - Editor in Chief. Ms Milgram went to The Kos Daily School (where she was valedictorian) and Harvard University, where she studied under many top professors in the Kennedy School of Government. She was awarded her Harvard MBA degree summa cum laude in 2004, after which she worked as Legislative Director for US Senator Albert Caidagh (D-NE). In 2007, she was recruited by Felicia Foxworthy to serve as Editor in Chief of PRN. Ms Milgram proudly acknowledges her profound respect for her role model, Medea Benjamin of Code Pink. (Dirty secret: wants to be President.)

Randall Lysander - Counsel. Mr Lysander, a native of Great Britain, is an experienced attorney and solicitor who has experience as in-house counsel to various businesses and entities on both sides of the Atlantic. Reticent and cautious, Lysander has a natural talent for keeping people and businesses out of legal trouble. He is not a political creature, however. He works for PRN because he has a crush on Felicia Foxworthy, and because the pay is extremely generous in view of the work demanded. (Dirty secret: would work at PRN for free, just to be around Felicia.)

Holly Ballou - Junior Researcher. Ms Ballou grew up idolizing the great activists of her generation -- Madonna, Bono, and Bruce Springsteen. At age 14 she decided to devote her life to progressive causes, thanks to Madonna's activist hit single "Papa Don't Preach." Ms Ballou absolutely despises the Evil Rethuglicans and working for PRN is her dream job. (Dirty secret: chose progressive identity to piss off her father.)

Galen Greenwood - Marketing and Promotion. Mr Greenwood is a former litigation attorney who found himself more interested in using his advocacy skills toward audiences larger than a judge or panel of jurors. A regular Renaissance Man with big dreams and a bold vision, Greenwood knows how to tell people what they want to hear, and thereby unite them as a cohesive hive mind in support of various progressive causes. A graduate of law school, Mr Greenwood knows the finest restaurants in DC and --as one might expect with a true Renaissance Man-- can tell you where amyl nitrate is easiest to find for the best prices. (Dirty secret: wants to be John Yoo.)

Jayne Hamster - Events Planning. Ms Hamster went to Sweetbriar College where she majored in sorority boosting and membership pledge driving. She is a natural at getting people together for such things as pledge drives, charity marathons, and water cooler gossip. She lives in the Hollyhobby section of Old Town Laurel, in a hip loft in a converted warehouse, with her cats Fabio, Enrique and Butch, and her Jack Russell Terriers RFK and JFK. (Dirty secret: in love with Bill Clinton.)